Forbidden Fruit

I wish i knew why... But the forbidden fruit has always held more appeal to me than all those things easily at my disposal... Starting from the cute boy next door (who was crushing on my best friend & thus unattainable) and on whom i had the biggest infatuation back in school, to the insane need to jump that red light smack bang in the middle of Mount road two days ago. It is slightly encouraging to know that the lure of the forbidden fruit is not restricted only to me.. Come on.. When Adam and Even couldn't fight it.. I'm not even gonna try.

Life gives you choices, i'v narrowed them down for you all..

1. Some of them selfish and easy to make
2. Some of them selfless those you make for others
3. And as in my case most of them thoroughly impulsive (or in simple terms things you screwed up and will haunt you forever).

I would not call myself the biggest rebel or someone who followed every single one of my dumb impulses, sure i sure have made more than my fair share of chaos. Maybe that's why I've turned into a slight escapist.. cos if you cant get what you want in real life, that doesn't mean you cant dream about it... LOL.. And if you are an impulsive / "jump first and think next year" kinda girl.. You are sure to have made some of the stupidest decisions of your life.

Is it the curse of the young to remain confused and unhappy... on the unending chase for something fulfilling? or do we need reality to rear its ugly head every once in awhile, to show us how things really are. And when you are faced with reality, you will realize that nothing was ever how it appeared.

I'm still not too sure if it is human mentality to do / want what is impossible or if it's the sheer need for something new and exciting in life that drives us to it. Is this the real reason behind theft, rape, murder, betrayal... etc. I think I'm wandering.. from topic to topic.. sowwie :)

Is this the reason why we want to go back in the past...? and change things cos we feel "if i had the chance i would do it again"? simply because it cant be done.. not because we want to. If any of you are wondering what this blog really is about.. then it is about me trying to let out a little steam on all the things i want.. but shouldn't be wanting.. Now if any of you think i am depressed :P ...I am NOT.. at least not in a clinical sense.. what I'm trying to do is try to make sense of the situation.. by writing away at a frenzy here.

Tiny words such as "what if", "maybe", "could have been's" etc.. boggle and scramble the brain.. and until and unless you put things in perspective you are going to be stuck with a fractured heart, depressed state of mind and the disease of "THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT".